Mothering Styles

I took this quiz this morning and the description of my mothering style was spot on. I found it to be very interesting. Here is what it said about me:

INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging)

"I believe the joy of motherhood is self-discovery-for them and for me."

Sensitive and family-focused, the INFJ mother looks for and encourages the unique potential of each child. Self-knowledge may be her byword. Her aim is to help each child develop a sense of identity and cultivate personal growth. In fact, she may value the mothering experience as a catalyst to her own personal growth and self-knowledge.

The INFJ mother spends time observing and understanding each child. She is drawn to intimate conversations and seeks a free exchange of feelings and thoughts.

Sympathetic and accommodating, the INFJ mother strives to meet the important yet sometimes conflicting needs of each family member in harmonious and creative ways.

She is conscientious and intense as well. Probably no one takes life and child-raising more seriously than the INFJ. She approaches mothering as a profession requiring her best self.

Tips

• Although she is drawn to people, the INFJ mother must remember that she needs time alone on a regular basis. Since her children are greatly affected by her mood swings, she is also giving to her children when she accommodates her Introversion. Time alone to meditate, journal, listen to music, and enjoy nature as well as intimate discussions with close friends can do wonders to bring peace to herself. For the INFJ especially, "If Mom ain't okay, ain't nobody okay."
• The INFJ mother needs to try to take life less seriously… to lighten up and take time to look at what life "is" rather than try to make it what it "should be." By living in the moment rather than the future, she can also help curb her tendency to take an isolated fact and extrapolate a catastrophic outcome.

Strengths

• Connecting one-on-one with each child. The INFJ mother listens, observes, and reflects to develop an understanding of who each child really is. She "knows" her child and desires a close relationship. She connects and keeps in touch with each child as a unique individual.
• Providing her children with emotional support. The INFJ mother is sensitive to her children's feelings, not shying away from helping them deal with even their heaviest emotions. She seeks to smooth out the rough edges of their experiences with a comforting presence and her broader perspectives.
• Profundity. Focused on understanding values, spirituality, culture, and society, the INFJ mother provides awareness and insights into the subtleties and lessons of life beyond a child's immediate experience and questions.
• Creativity. The INFJ mother can dream up unusual, fun projects her children can do to occupy their time and enrich their day-to-day experience, such as fantasy games to play, theme parties, or special snacks to make from healthy foods.

Struggles

• Details. The INFJ mother may gravitate toward the idea of getting the family and household organized and in order, only to exhaust herself with nitty-gritty follow through. Regular baths for small children, weekly laundry, daily meals, picking up clutter, and ongoing repairs can be overwhelming.
• Real life vs. the ideal. Because she lives with an ideal in her mind, the INFJ mother often has unrealistic expectations of herself and others. She may feel inadequate and critical of herself when reality falls short of her ideal.
• Giving too much. The INFJ mother may be prone to over-accommodation and self-sacrifice as a way to maintain family harmony. She struggles with the ramifications: a child who is too dependent and a mother who is depleted and resentful.

I found it very interesting to read about the strengths and struggles of my mothering style and I think that knowing where my strengths and weaknesses are can help me to find ways to use my specific qualities to the best of my abilities.

Blessings,