Oh, What a Day!

Oh the silliness that is sometimes my world…

There are times where it feels like the boys have won. I should just throw my hands in the air, forget about living a quiet, polite, civilized life and just join in on the craziness, accept that mashed bananas is probably an excellent hair and skin treatment, that the smell of hot dogs is attractive, that sticky hands and spilled drinks will happen no matter what preventative measures I take, and sleepiness is not an entirely bad thing. After all, if you are sleepy enough, you may just forget that you smell like soy milk and hot dogs and that you are drinking your fourth cup of ice cold coffee (oh, is coffee not supposed to be cold?)

Yes, there are days where I feel like pulling all of my hair out, but wait, I can’t remember…did I do that already?

I can tell when I am having one of those days because Jacob will usually say something along the line of, “But I don’t drink bottles Mommy” as i realize that I just tried to hand him Joseph’s bottle.

But seriously, most of our days are really good. The boys are usually so well behaved, and Joseph is such a happy and content baby, and our day tends to run rather smoothly. So sometimes we just have to laugh, and just remember that tomorrow is always another day.

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New Year's Eve

I am so thankful for our little family. We have such a tight bond, and our family is so full of love that we don't really need extended family (although it would have been so nice to have). We feel so fulfilled within our little family. And I know that love will only grow as our children grow and as our family grows. And we have each other. How many people have a marriage as close or as solid as ours? Who could ask for more than a great marriage and precious children? What blessings we have been showered with! Our children are amazing. I am constantly filled with wonder and amazement just from looking at them. Both of these boys have eyes that sparkle with something so special that I can't think of words to describe it.

It is funny because I keep forgetting that today is New Year's Eve. I suppose we are just fuddy-duddies, we don't exactly party and this holiday doesn't hold any religious significance, so it kind of seems rather insignificant. And time has just flown by lately. I suppose things have just been so busy and we have felt so preoccupied with our move and this situation and drama with extended family and being pregnant. (wow, I guess we have a lot going on!) This pregnancy has flown by with all of the distractions. On the one hand it feels like so long ago when we announced that we are expecting again. Our whole world has changed. Looking back there were so many warnings that something wasn't right, but we wanted so badly to keep relationships with our extended family. We wanted to trust them. We felt like we needed to be able to believe in family. Now, looking back, it seems foolish to have tried to hold on to something that never truly exsisted. Pretty disappointing, isn't it?

I feel so sad for Rick though. I know how it hurts to lose your family and to feel so betrayed. He seems to be handling it fairly well. I suppose he is just a strong man. And like I wrote before, we have such a strong nuclear family that it isn't like we need that extended family support. And I know he has gained strength by trusting in Our Lord. He has been so good to us.

We have decided to give Mr. Maxie our John Gill commentary. We don't really agree with his theology and we know that Mr. Maxie is very interested in reformed theology. He is such a sweet man, really both he and his wife are just precious. Mr. Maxie was so excited to just look at the commentary when we purchased it, and he has such a love for books. He loves to read and study, so I think he would really enjoy these books.

We also have a large box of shirts to give to Scott. He happens to be one size smaller than Rick and his family recently lost everything in a house fire.

It is pretty exciting to be moving into our new house. Our future just looks so promising and bright. God has just given us so much. He worked everything out so wonderfully for us. He is so kind and merciful. What a loving God He is!

Thankfully,

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God's Providence

I received Vision Forum's end of the year newsletter today and thought that I would take a little time to reflect upon it.

It lists three main tasks to do , the first of which is to outline and chronicle the many Providences of God.

1. Where did we travel?
As a family we made several trips to Kansas City, which has changed our family's life because we have decided to follow where God is leading and relocate there.

2. What significant household projects did we accomplish in 2007?
We had new carpet installed through out our house. We replaced all of the linoleum floors ourselves. And we installed new lighting fixtures.

3. What special friendships were made this year?
The Schumacher's. They were very supportive of us as we learned and discerned God's will for our lives. They inspired us to grow as a family and have been a positive role model for us. And they have been an encouragement and comfort during these difficult times.

4. Which children lost teeth and how many?
No children lost teeth, but Joshua got his first two teeth (the bottom front ones) and Jacob got his two year molars.

5. Who grew in physical stature and how much?
Well, Joshua was born and grew from 7 lbs 10 oz to nearly 20 lbs. Jacob grew several inches taller. And mommy's belly grew because she is seven months pregnant, lol.

6. Who learned to read?
No one learned to read, but Jacob learned all of his colors, shapes, how to count and so much more.

7. What diet and exercise regime did I maintain to honor "my temple"?
Unfortunately, none. This is an area where we need to grow.

8. What books did we read? Did we read together? Did my children read?
We did read a few books together, I can't think of them right now, I would have to really look back. I read to the children every day.

9. What Scriptures did my family memorize?
Matthew 6:33 "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you"

10. What were the great personal tragedies of the year?
Wow. Having "Mom" and "Dad"deceive us, steal personal diaries and make copies in a vain attempt to find something bad they could use against us, make false allegations to social services and friends, then sue us for custody of our children when that didn't work, and attempt to destroy our lives.

11. What were the great personal blessings of the year?
Seeing God work in the above situation and turn it into a wonderful blessing for our family.
Being blessed with the birth of Joshua.
Finding out we were expecting baby Joey.
Finding out that we had made some real, true friends.
Finding our new home and having God work out all of the details for us.

12. What were my most significant sins and failures for the year?
Letting anger and frustration take hold during struggles.
Not having patience.

13. What unresolved conflicts/issues am I bringing into 2008?
Well, our custody battle isn't completely resolved (although we know what the outcome will be)
Not having our house here sold.

14. What significant spiritual and practical victories did I experience?
Seeing God triumph over evil when our family was attacked.
Knowing that we stayed on the path God designed for us, despite the difficulties. We were unwilling to compromise or back down to make our lives easier.

15. In what tangible ways did I communicate gratitude to those who blessed me and invested in my life?
We have verbally and in writing expressed our gratitude to our dear friends who have shown us love, support and encouragement.

16. What are the top themes of 2007 for the family?
Trust God.
God will provide.
God is truly providential.


The second task is to write a letter to each person who has blessed us and invested in our life. So I intend to work on that this afternoon.

The third task is to make a list of those who have wronged you this year, and then forgive them. This is where my inner toddler screams, "But I don't wanna!" It is so hard to forgive someone who has caused so much pain, but perhaps that is why God requires it.

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Another Amazing Blessing!

Things just keep getting better! Rick met with our attorney this morning, I just felt too much anxiety and did not want to go. I was just so worried that we would find out that we could not move. But, thanks be to God, that is not what happened. Apparently after we had informed the attorney about the case worker telling us they were closing the case, he called the guardian ad lidem who confirmed that the case was indeed closed. Our attorney then called the judge and told him about the case being closed and our need and desire to relocate to Kansas City. The judge called the case worker to ask her about us and she must have given him a great report because he called our attorney and told him to tell us to move. He said that he just wants us to be sure that if he schedules any hearings we can be here. Our attorney told us that this is now just a civil custody suit and that "Mom" really can't win. So after the move he will either file for a dismissal or for a change of jurisdiction (which is essentially a dismissal since she has no standing to file in Missouri). Either way, we have basically already won. The custody case is not formally closed yet, but it definitely sounds like it will be very soon.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

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Almost Christmas

Yesterday evening we decorated the Christmas tree. Jacob really enjoyed that. I had placed all of the ornaments into two large baskets so that he could choose which ornament to put on the tree next. He said that the tree has "spots" on it. How cute!

I thought that today was Wednesday, but it is actually Thursday. What a pleasant little surprise.

The case worker came by for her final visit. She was very friendly and it was a very relaxed visit. She said that she will be sending us a letter stating their findings that the case was non-indicated, meaning that they found no concerns. So the case is now closed. Wow. Thanks be to God!

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An Amazing Blessing!

Praise be the Lord Jesus Christ! The case worker just called and they are officially closing the case! She is coming out tomorrow to see the boys on last time and then the case is closed.

We still have the custody case but having this case closed only helps us. We have so much on our side with social services and the guardian ad lidem both on our side. So her only victory is that she has made our lives more stressful for several months. And in doing so she lost her relationship with her son and grandchildren. And after all is said and done we know that we are safer now than before this situation. It is incredible the way that God has worked things out. This time has been painful and emotionally draining but we are coming out of this so much better.

I feel like standing on the rooftop and shouting His praises! What an amazing situation this has become. We have been able to truly see God working and see concrete indisputable evidence of it. There is not other explanation for the way this has all come together. We found the right house at the right time in the right place for us. We had the offer to relocate at the right time and they offered us just the right amount of money to cover all of our needs. They are closing the case at just the right time for us to move. And it has all happened on God's timetable, not ours. But it has all worked out for what is best for our family. It is all so incredible. Glory be to God!

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Homemaking and Playing and Things are Looking Up

Things have been better this last week. Nothing has changed in regards to our court case, except that we have a hearing scheduled for January tenth. So, that is quite a ways off, but everyone is in agreement that the boys having been with us through this whole ordeal can only help our case. Obviously they have been solely in our care and continued to thrive.

The case aide workers came by this morning for just a minute. They were stopping by to say they "laid eyes on us" and that everything was great, as she knew it would be.

Last weekend we drove to Kansas City to look around and look into different areas. I could not believe that it snowed on Saturday morning! We found several nice areas, one in particular that Rick really liked was Lees Summit. It was actually quite nice. It would be such a change to move into the suburbs. I think one of the biggest adjustments would be the noise. We are so accustomed to the quietness of the country. We generally only hear the sounds of tractors, cows, dogs barking, to occasional turkey gobble or gunshot. I know I shall miss all of the beautiful birds that I see. I see the most striking cardinals and blue birds and they come right up to the windows, particularly in the fig tree outside of the breakfast room.

Joshua bonked his little head trying to pull himself up in his crib. He is such an adventurous little boy! He wants to do everything. It is so cute how he watches Jacob, taking it all in, and how he tries to imitate him. Joshua is so determined. I think he is definitely the high-achieving type.

I tested Jacob on his shape recognition this morning, and he properly named a circle, star, hexagon, square, rectangle, oval, diamond, and triangle. What a smart boy! God has blessed us with such intelligent children!

Yesterday the boys and I went grocery shopping. It is quite an adventure to go shopping with two active little boys. And to think, soon there will be three! I did somewhat enjoy marketing though.

When we returned home, I spent the afternoon detail cleaning the refrigerator. It had gotten quite messy and disorganized, and it was really needing to be put back in order. I took everything out and removed the drawers and shelves and scrubbed everything clean. I cleaned under the lids of all of the condiments and put everything back in neatly and organized. I washed and diced grapes so they will be already prepared for Jacob, and bagged individual servings for Rick to take with his lunch. Everything looks so gleaming and nice.

On Tuesday morning I organized our linen closet. I removed everything and wiped down the shelves. I refolded all of the towels and washcloths neatly and organized the medicine bin. Rick was pleased with how it looks.

The goal is to clean the entire house in that detail. It is quite a task but the result is worth the effort. Not to mention, it gives me something productive to focus on other than this court case. And as an additional bonus, Jacob enjoys "helping" me clean, and he likes organizing. It must be genetic, lol. And I think most people prefer a near and orderly home.

I am making egg salad for lunch and I am thinking I will make a broccoli and cheese soup with homemade bread for dinner.

I found a great website the other day while I was looking for ideas for an advent wreath. It is run by a lady with two sons, and she seems to be around my age. I always enjoy finding websites full of great information on homemaking. I think that homemaking is one of my favorite subjects to read about. I have always enjoyed learning and particularly when it is something that I can use in my daily life. And I have always been a bit of a perfectionist and a high achiever, so it is not surprising that I would want to learn as much as I can about what I do.

The boys were so cute earlier playing blocks together. They sat so nicely beside each other and Jacob would hand Joshie blocks. And Joshie would just look at Jacob with such fascination, studying him and then trying to imitate what he saw. They really play nicely together. Every now and then one will get jealous, but for the most part they play well together. I think Jacob is enjoying having a playmate.

Our house is filling up with the scent of freshly rising bread. That has to be one of the most lovely scents on earth. Nothing smells more like home to me than fresh bread. Pure lovliness. It warms my heart to know that my children associate those things with me. When Jacob saw a picture of Martha in his children's Bible baking bread, he said it was mommy. And he gets so excited each time I pull out the mixer because he knows that something good is coming. On Tuesday we made chocolate chip muffins and we made extra so that Rick could take them to work to share. He said that one of the guys came by asking if there were anymore, and he had already had two. So I'll take that as a compliment. It is a nice feeling to make other people's day a little sweeter with something as simple as a muffin.

Shauneen talked to the case worker who told her that the only reason she is having someone come by once a week is because it will help out our court case. That is incredible. It is amazing to me that they were able to come into our home and see who we are and see our family for what it is. It is nice to know that the way we are shows to people who don't even know us. I am sure it has also helped that we have supportive friends who know our children and who are saying the same things about us. It is just amazing to have that support.

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Discouraged

It has been a miserable few days. On Monday we had an appointment with our attorney. He told us that we probably won't even be able to get a court date until January, at the earliest. And even once we win, "Mom" can turn around and file again. So she can essentially keep us tied up in the court system and there is nothing that we can do to protect ourselves (as long as we live in Alabama). It is just so discouraging.

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Stress, and Parties, and Laundry, Oh My!

Yesterday was a particularly stressful day for me. There was nothing specific to make it so. I think it was just the weight of feeling like we have no power over our situation. Most people would probably be surprised to know that I am a bit of a control freak. Not in the manner that many people are, it seems contradictory since I am soft spoken and at times a bit timid. But I always want to feel as if my life is neat and ordered. My day to day life follows a predictable routine and there is a familiar sense of consistency. When things aren't as they should be, I just find it so frustrating. I want everyone to do what they are supposed to do, in a timely manner, but life doesn't work that way.

Barbie called this morning to invite us to a St. Nicholas Day party. The boys are going to dress up as lambs to be part of a Nativity scene. John-Paul is dressing up as the shepherd, Angelica will be Mary, the little boys will be the wise men. Alexandria is going to be playing the harp. It sounds like it will be a lovely time. There will also be a pot-luck supper. She also invited us to her house on Christmas Eve.

Jacob woke up this morning with a bit of a cold. His little nose is all congested. His voice sounds too cute. He doesn't seem to be feeling bad, just congested.

I have been trying to finish up a few little tasks around the house this afternoon. I cleaned our bathroom and the breakfast room. And I switched out the breakfast room table cloth for cream colored place mats and arranged a centerpiece on the table of small pumpkins , gourds, and indian corn.

I had a frustrating situation with the laundry yesterday. I discovered that some of the items had turned pink! What I don't understand, however, is that there was nothing red or dark pink in the load. So I cannot figure out what happened. The woes of a homemaker!

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Wonderful Blessings and a Difficult Situation

There is something so soothing about the feeling of warm hot chocolate in my tummy. I thoroughly enjoy such simple pleasures. It seems at times such small niceties add to the quality of life.

My Joshua is such an active little monkey! This morning he somehow got himself on the other side of his bumper pads and had his arm and leg sticking out of the crib! That boy is on the go from the moment he wakes up. What a little bundle of energy! It is so precious to watch him explore.

The case aide worker came by again this morning. Again they commented on how clean our house is and how well organized and how smart Jacob is.

Jacob enjoyed playing with playdough this morning. He loves to stamp images into it and "cut it" with "scissors", and roll it around with the rolling pin. He just loves to create. Painting is one of his new favorite activities. I am truly amazed at what he creates. He has an incredibly imagination. He is just so bright!

I cannot believe that it is almost Thanksgiving. It will be our first Thanksgiving alone since the children were born. I think it will be nice. We will be able to have our own little traditions without being looked at as too "sappy" and too "religious" and "self-righteous".

Last Christmas was such a struggle because everyone became so offended when on Christmas Eve we asked that the television be turned off. We were trying to be gracious since they were guests in our home, but we were really trying to keep the focus on the joy of Christ's birth and they wanted to watch crime documentaries. And they acted as if we were being so pious. So at least there won't be any of that. It is hard not to feel some degree of loss, however, that we will have no extended family to share our joy with. But I suppose we never really did. But God has blessed us with the support of loving friends and our strong marriage and precious children. Perhaps now we also have the blessing of not having to face ridicule from those who are supposed to be a loving support.

We found out Thursday that our family is being blessed with another son! I am so surprised! It is especially sweet because I had prayed that God would give me four boys and He has given me three in a row! I used to think that I wouldn't know what to do with boys, and then Jacob came along and changed everything. I have enjoyed being his mother more than I could ever express in words. I feel so much fulfillment when I see how he looks at me with such love and how he looks at me like I am so beautiful to him. It has filled my heart with such joy to watch him grow and develop. And it is so fulfilling to know that I have been his primary teacher and nurturer and then to see him developing into a bright, intelligent boy with such a caring and loving character that makes him irresistible to all he meets.

And oh my Joshua! What a strong, sweet spirit he has! And to know that he feels so content and secure in my arms gives me such a feeling of success. I know that I haven't had some amazing career, and I will never be famous and I will never be rich. But, in knowing that my children feel well loved and are growing into amazing, happy, and loving little men, I know I am successful. And there is no greater reward on this earth!

And all of this brings so much joy to our family that even with all the stress and pain of this situation I can say that God has blessed us abundantly! I know that He must love me a great deal to have blessed me so richly.

We found out last week that "Mom" has gone to our friends and tried to convince them that we are horrible parents and that I am crazy and such, and then she emailed us and tried to say that these friends were approaching her and were on her side. I feel as if she is actually losing her mind. Perhaps it is evident to others as well. I know in the beginning that we had told the case worker that we believed "Mom" wanted custody of our children, and she seemed surprised. But then a week later, "Mom" filed for custody. I feel as if her actions are showing what her true motives are. So many of her accusations have been provable (on our side) that it is really shocking. I am understanding why she would make accusations that we could easily prove false, such as Joshua not having been to the doctor or had any shots.

Wow, just when you think that things can't get any weirder. Rick just received an email from her sending her condolences on the death of a co-workers father. So then he finds out that she had called his receptionist several times asking questions (such as if he was in the office, or what address to send something to a friend of his). And she asked the receptionist not to tell him that she had called. Then, getting even creepier, she called here(!) saying that she had sent an email to me and I should read it, and I calmly asked her not to call our house and she said "OK, Love ya, bye" In a strange, sarcastic, teenage sounding voice. Apparently she called his office three times, and then after she called here she called there again asking to speak to one of Rick's friends. She also told the receptionist that she was sending something to this friend. I cannot believe the lengths this woman will go to to hurt us.

I would like to feel like I could pray for her, I am really trying to not have feelings of hatred or resentment towards her, and to feel forgiveness and compassion, but right now it feels like she is purposefully attacking my family and that makes me angry.

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Trials and Blessings

Our family has undergone many difficult trials recently, and yet I still look around me and see the many blessings that our Gracious Heavenly Father has bestowed upon us. One only has to look into the precious faces of our children to see His most holy goodness. I know that my life has been so richly blessed and that it is only by His Grace that I am able to receive so much. To some my life may not seem like much, and many times I am unable to see all that I have been given, but I do know that I am deeply loved by my Heavenly Father and He has surrounded me with support and love and friendship during this most difficult time. I realize that the earthly love and comfort I feel are nothing in comparison to the love that Our Lord has for me. But I truly appreciate that He has given me the earthly friends for additional comfort.

Tony and Shauneen have been truly amazing throughout this time. They have been such genuine friends and have truly shown the values of loyalty, charity, and compassion. True friends are so few and far between and I am so thankful for the precious gift of the their friendship. God has blessed us abundantly!

Joshua has grown by leaps and bounds. He is just blossoming! His little cheeks have become so plump he has gotten so active. He wants to see everything, and do everything himself. He wants to be on the go constantly. From the moment his eyes open in the morning, he is a bundle of energy. I don't know if I have ever seen a smile as contagious as his. His whole face lights up with radiant joy.

And Jacob is a constant source of wonder and amazement to me. That child is so incredibly bright! I cannot believe how much he learns everyday. He seems to be eager to learn and so enthusiastic about everything that he is learning. His mind is like a little sponge just waiting to soak up new information. It is so precious to see the sparkle in his eye when he understands a new concept or recalls something he has learned. And what a joy to know that he is learning from me and that I am able to share in that experience with him. It gives me so much joy to know that I am teaching him and he is learning and that we are both enjoying the process.

It is easy for us to become burdened by the weight of our difficulties. It causes us a great deal of pain to know that our struggles are being caused by someone who claimed to love us and who we allowed into our lives, and into the lives of our children.

It is, however, a comfort to us to know that in spite of the hurt she has caused us previously, we had forgiven her and shown her love and kindness. I can feel peace in my heart because I know that I showed her the compassion and love that that my Lord requires of me. I also understand that this situation is not about us, or even about our earthly situation. She is fighting a much larger spiritual battle. I know that we are caught in the middle of her spiritual warfare. It is difficult from a human perspective not to get angry and take this very personally. After all, she is putting my children and family in jeopardy. But I must try to rise above that earthly desire and not to let anger fill my heart.

I must trust in God's great providence, and that He will give me the strength to overcome this trial and to be an unwavering source of nurturing, love, and protection for these children. In the end it does not matter what other people think of me, but that I have done the right things despite persecution or difficulty. Who you are in your heart shows during difficult situations. It is a much simpler decision to trust in God when there isn't much on the line. I know that now is the time to stand strong and hold tight to my faith. I must trust that He will deliver our family safely through this.

In Christ,

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