Wonderful Blessings and a Difficult Situation

There is something so soothing about the feeling of warm hot chocolate in my tummy. I thoroughly enjoy such simple pleasures. It seems at times such small niceties add to the quality of life.

My Joshua is such an active little monkey! This morning he somehow got himself on the other side of his bumper pads and had his arm and leg sticking out of the crib! That boy is on the go from the moment he wakes up. What a little bundle of energy! It is so precious to watch him explore.

The case aide worker came by again this morning. Again they commented on how clean our house is and how well organized and how smart Jacob is.

Jacob enjoyed playing with playdough this morning. He loves to stamp images into it and "cut it" with "scissors", and roll it around with the rolling pin. He just loves to create. Painting is one of his new favorite activities. I am truly amazed at what he creates. He has an incredibly imagination. He is just so bright!

I cannot believe that it is almost Thanksgiving. It will be our first Thanksgiving alone since the children were born. I think it will be nice. We will be able to have our own little traditions without being looked at as too "sappy" and too "religious" and "self-righteous".

Last Christmas was such a struggle because everyone became so offended when on Christmas Eve we asked that the television be turned off. We were trying to be gracious since they were guests in our home, but we were really trying to keep the focus on the joy of Christ's birth and they wanted to watch crime documentaries. And they acted as if we were being so pious. So at least there won't be any of that. It is hard not to feel some degree of loss, however, that we will have no extended family to share our joy with. But I suppose we never really did. But God has blessed us with the support of loving friends and our strong marriage and precious children. Perhaps now we also have the blessing of not having to face ridicule from those who are supposed to be a loving support.

We found out Thursday that our family is being blessed with another son! I am so surprised! It is especially sweet because I had prayed that God would give me four boys and He has given me three in a row! I used to think that I wouldn't know what to do with boys, and then Jacob came along and changed everything. I have enjoyed being his mother more than I could ever express in words. I feel so much fulfillment when I see how he looks at me with such love and how he looks at me like I am so beautiful to him. It has filled my heart with such joy to watch him grow and develop. And it is so fulfilling to know that I have been his primary teacher and nurturer and then to see him developing into a bright, intelligent boy with such a caring and loving character that makes him irresistible to all he meets.

And oh my Joshua! What a strong, sweet spirit he has! And to know that he feels so content and secure in my arms gives me such a feeling of success. I know that I haven't had some amazing career, and I will never be famous and I will never be rich. But, in knowing that my children feel well loved and are growing into amazing, happy, and loving little men, I know I am successful. And there is no greater reward on this earth!

And all of this brings so much joy to our family that even with all the stress and pain of this situation I can say that God has blessed us abundantly! I know that He must love me a great deal to have blessed me so richly.

We found out last week that "Mom" has gone to our friends and tried to convince them that we are horrible parents and that I am crazy and such, and then she emailed us and tried to say that these friends were approaching her and were on her side. I feel as if she is actually losing her mind. Perhaps it is evident to others as well. I know in the beginning that we had told the case worker that we believed "Mom" wanted custody of our children, and she seemed surprised. But then a week later, "Mom" filed for custody. I feel as if her actions are showing what her true motives are. So many of her accusations have been provable (on our side) that it is really shocking. I am understanding why she would make accusations that we could easily prove false, such as Joshua not having been to the doctor or had any shots.

Wow, just when you think that things can't get any weirder. Rick just received an email from her sending her condolences on the death of a co-workers father. So then he finds out that she had called his receptionist several times asking questions (such as if he was in the office, or what address to send something to a friend of his). And she asked the receptionist not to tell him that she had called. Then, getting even creepier, she called here(!) saying that she had sent an email to me and I should read it, and I calmly asked her not to call our house and she said "OK, Love ya, bye" In a strange, sarcastic, teenage sounding voice. Apparently she called his office three times, and then after she called here she called there again asking to speak to one of Rick's friends. She also told the receptionist that she was sending something to this friend. I cannot believe the lengths this woman will go to to hurt us.

I would like to feel like I could pray for her, I am really trying to not have feelings of hatred or resentment towards her, and to feel forgiveness and compassion, but right now it feels like she is purposefully attacking my family and that makes me angry.