New Year's Eve

I am so thankful for our little family. We have such a tight bond, and our family is so full of love that we don't really need extended family (although it would have been so nice to have). We feel so fulfilled within our little family. And I know that love will only grow as our children grow and as our family grows. And we have each other. How many people have a marriage as close or as solid as ours? Who could ask for more than a great marriage and precious children? What blessings we have been showered with! Our children are amazing. I am constantly filled with wonder and amazement just from looking at them. Both of these boys have eyes that sparkle with something so special that I can't think of words to describe it.

It is funny because I keep forgetting that today is New Year's Eve. I suppose we are just fuddy-duddies, we don't exactly party and this holiday doesn't hold any religious significance, so it kind of seems rather insignificant. And time has just flown by lately. I suppose things have just been so busy and we have felt so preoccupied with our move and this situation and drama with extended family and being pregnant. (wow, I guess we have a lot going on!) This pregnancy has flown by with all of the distractions. On the one hand it feels like so long ago when we announced that we are expecting again. Our whole world has changed. Looking back there were so many warnings that something wasn't right, but we wanted so badly to keep relationships with our extended family. We wanted to trust them. We felt like we needed to be able to believe in family. Now, looking back, it seems foolish to have tried to hold on to something that never truly exsisted. Pretty disappointing, isn't it?

I feel so sad for Rick though. I know how it hurts to lose your family and to feel so betrayed. He seems to be handling it fairly well. I suppose he is just a strong man. And like I wrote before, we have such a strong nuclear family that it isn't like we need that extended family support. And I know he has gained strength by trusting in Our Lord. He has been so good to us.

We have decided to give Mr. Maxie our John Gill commentary. We don't really agree with his theology and we know that Mr. Maxie is very interested in reformed theology. He is such a sweet man, really both he and his wife are just precious. Mr. Maxie was so excited to just look at the commentary when we purchased it, and he has such a love for books. He loves to read and study, so I think he would really enjoy these books.

We also have a large box of shirts to give to Scott. He happens to be one size smaller than Rick and his family recently lost everything in a house fire.

It is pretty exciting to be moving into our new house. Our future just looks so promising and bright. God has just given us so much. He worked everything out so wonderfully for us. He is so kind and merciful. What a loving God He is!

Thankfully,

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Christmas Lights at the Botanical Gardens

I gave Rick and the boys haircuts this morning. We have been keeping their hair cut short because it is easier to manage. Little boys tend to mess up their hair quite easily. Jacob likes it so much better when I cut it, rather than going somewhere to have it done. I think even Rick is preferring that I do it, because he can keep it as short as he likes. All of their hair grows so fast that we really need to do hair cuts every other week. But it isn't difficult, or unpleasant to do, other than the spikey little hairs that get stuck in my shirt, lol.

After hair cuts we gave the boys a bath and they got to use their new bath fizzies, which color the bath water. So they had blue water. They also played with their new bath markers. Quite to my surprise, Jacob rather liked coloring on the bathtub walls. Joshua is so brave and so willing to try new things. He crawled around in the tub and kept trying to stand up. At one point he nearly went underwater and it didn't even frighten him. In fact, he was mad that I had stopped him.

We are going to drive to Huntsville to look at a large Christmas lights display in the botanical gardens. Friends of ours went last night and said that it was nice. Jacob likes the "lights in the trees" and now that Joshua is in a big boy carseat he'll be able to see as well.

We just arrived home from the lights display. Jacob loved it (as we figured he would). He talked about each display. He seems to notice the butterflies especially, he always seems to point them out. Joshua liked the lights for the first few minutes and then he decided that he didn't want to do that anymore and cried the rest of the way through. And then he threw a fit the entire way home. I am going to assume that he is teething and that is causing him to be ill-tempered because he is usually such a sweet natured child. I wasn't feeling well myself. I felt car sick the whole time and my feet swelled up and I had a headache. So I guess it was not the greatest family outing, but Jacob had a great time.

Blessings,

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Last Sunday at Church

This evening was our last Fifth Sunday Night Singing at church. I sang "Breath of Heaven". Jacob was confused about why I went up front but he had to stay in the pew. Joshua watched me the whole time, which was sweet, but then he reached over and pulled Jacob's hair and I had to try not to laugh. Joshua was really good during the service, he really likes music. After I sang, Jacob went to play with Grant in the nursery.

After the service they had finger foods, but Joshua got tired and cranky so we weren't able to stay long. I was a little disappointed, I would have liked to have stayed longer and spent more time with our friends since it was our last time there.

Jacob really loves his new bed. He kept Joshua awake really late last night talking about it, and neither boy napped because they stayed awake talking.

Hugs,

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A Big Boy Bed

I have an excited little, excuse me, I mean big boy. We bought him his big boy bed today. We bought bunk beds and mattresses and memory foam mattress pad so it will be extra comfy. Oh, he is so excited.

We also bought Joshua a big boy carseat, so I know he will be happy about that. I am sure he will enjoy being able to see out of the window on the long trip.

We also bought the boys matching winter coats and snowpants.

These boys. They are growing up so fast! I can't believe that Jacob is ready for bunk beds and Joshua is getting so big so quickly. This morning he was practicing reaching down and picking things up from a standing position. He has such determination. He just keeps trying something until he figures it out. He seems to be a natural "go-getter". What a strong boy he is!

I need to give all of my boys (and man) a hair cut this afternoon. Rick said that he would like his shorter and the boys are already needing a trim.

Jacob and Joshua were so sweet playing together this morning. Joshua really adores his big brother, and Jacob really likes that Joshua has become a playmate. I think they will be the best of friends.

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A Bad Day But a Big Blessing

Today is one of those days where my patience is truly being tested. Joshua is extremely cranky. I think he is cutting a new tooth. He is chewing on his finger constantly. I cannot feel where a new tooth is coming in but he is certainly acting like it.

This morning Rick reminded me that the movers will be here in one week.

It is raining and thunder storming outside. Both boys are in terrible moods. I cannot get Joshua to stop fussing and Jacob is just awnry. And I am really not feeling well myself.

This weekend will be crazy busy. It is our last chance to finish up things around here. And I am singing Sunday evening at church. Apparently I like having a lot on my plate ;)

Wow. God just keeps blessing us. Rick just found out that we are getting a four thousand dollar check, completely unexpected. Why is God being so good to us? I keep thinking that God has already given us more than we could have ever asked for, and then He gives us more.

Jacob is really excited about moving and having a new room, and getting a big boy bed. At lunch he was telling me how they were going to put all of our stuff on the truck. And he kept checking to make sure everything will fit. What about my tractor? What about my bicycle? He said that Jake could drive the truck, or maybe a small truck, lol.

He is excited about the move and I think he will adjust well. He is excited about there being enough room for baby Joey. He is so sweet. He is talking so much about the move and baby Joey. I am amazed at his comprehension.

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The house has been so quiet with the dogs gone. I miss them at times, but I have to admit it is nice to not have to clean up after them or deal with the barking.

We have our new phone number and we are all set there. We have the utilities arranged, our wireless card for internet is arriving tomorrow, and our moving company arrangements have been confirmed. It is all coming together.

A week from now we will be loading the truck! And a week from tomorrow we are leaving!

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Moving Prep...

The house has been so quiet with the dogs gone. I miss them at times, but I have to admit it is nice to not have to clean up after them or deal with the barking.

We have our new phone number and we are all set there. We have the utilities arranged, our wireless card for internet is arriving tomorrow, and our moving company arrangements have been confirmed. It is all coming together.

A week from now we will be loading the truck! And a week from tomorrow we are leaving!

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God's Providence

I received Vision Forum's end of the year newsletter today and thought that I would take a little time to reflect upon it.

It lists three main tasks to do , the first of which is to outline and chronicle the many Providences of God.

1. Where did we travel?
As a family we made several trips to Kansas City, which has changed our family's life because we have decided to follow where God is leading and relocate there.

2. What significant household projects did we accomplish in 2007?
We had new carpet installed through out our house. We replaced all of the linoleum floors ourselves. And we installed new lighting fixtures.

3. What special friendships were made this year?
The Schumacher's. They were very supportive of us as we learned and discerned God's will for our lives. They inspired us to grow as a family and have been a positive role model for us. And they have been an encouragement and comfort during these difficult times.

4. Which children lost teeth and how many?
No children lost teeth, but Joshua got his first two teeth (the bottom front ones) and Jacob got his two year molars.

5. Who grew in physical stature and how much?
Well, Joshua was born and grew from 7 lbs 10 oz to nearly 20 lbs. Jacob grew several inches taller. And mommy's belly grew because she is seven months pregnant, lol.

6. Who learned to read?
No one learned to read, but Jacob learned all of his colors, shapes, how to count and so much more.

7. What diet and exercise regime did I maintain to honor "my temple"?
Unfortunately, none. This is an area where we need to grow.

8. What books did we read? Did we read together? Did my children read?
We did read a few books together, I can't think of them right now, I would have to really look back. I read to the children every day.

9. What Scriptures did my family memorize?
Matthew 6:33 "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you"

10. What were the great personal tragedies of the year?
Wow. Having "Mom" and "Dad"deceive us, steal personal diaries and make copies in a vain attempt to find something bad they could use against us, make false allegations to social services and friends, then sue us for custody of our children when that didn't work, and attempt to destroy our lives.

11. What were the great personal blessings of the year?
Seeing God work in the above situation and turn it into a wonderful blessing for our family.
Being blessed with the birth of Joshua.
Finding out we were expecting baby Joey.
Finding out that we had made some real, true friends.
Finding our new home and having God work out all of the details for us.

12. What were my most significant sins and failures for the year?
Letting anger and frustration take hold during struggles.
Not having patience.

13. What unresolved conflicts/issues am I bringing into 2008?
Well, our custody battle isn't completely resolved (although we know what the outcome will be)
Not having our house here sold.

14. What significant spiritual and practical victories did I experience?
Seeing God triumph over evil when our family was attacked.
Knowing that we stayed on the path God designed for us, despite the difficulties. We were unwilling to compromise or back down to make our lives easier.

15. In what tangible ways did I communicate gratitude to those who blessed me and invested in my life?
We have verbally and in writing expressed our gratitude to our dear friends who have shown us love, support and encouragement.

16. What are the top themes of 2007 for the family?
Trust God.
God will provide.
God is truly providential.


The second task is to write a letter to each person who has blessed us and invested in our life. So I intend to work on that this afternoon.

The third task is to make a list of those who have wronged you this year, and then forgive them. This is where my inner toddler screams, "But I don't wanna!" It is so hard to forgive someone who has caused so much pain, but perhaps that is why God requires it.

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Merry Christmas

The Christmas Eve church service was beautiful, but I started feeling sick about half way through and Rick ended up having to take me home. I spent most of Christmas day sick in bed, but we made it a special time anyway. We opened our stockings together in bed. Jacob thought that was great fun.

Jacob loves his new train set. It is his first powered train set. It is driving me a little crazy, but it is a small price to pay, I suppose ;)

Joshua loved opening presents. He figured out the concept rather quickly. It is no surprise but he loved the crinkling of the wrapping paper.

The movers are coming in one week! We have so much to do! There are only two more working days this week and then the weekend. And then Rick only works Wednesday of next week. Monday and Tuesday are holidays and then he is working the first day the movers are here and that is it. And really he is only working that day to pack up his desk and say good bye.

It is all exciting. I am sad about leaving our friends, true friends are a rare and precious gift. I know I shall really miss Tony and Shauneen. They have been such a strong support throughout this whole ordeal. And Barbie has been such an encouragement to me. And she and Don are both great role models for us. And their children are so great with our children.

I am washing all of the scrap fabric that we found in the basement and sorting it into bins.

I am so glad that we are not packing ourselves. We have so much stuff , I think I would be even more overwhelmed than I already am. I can't even imagine how many boxes it will take.

I have been sorting through all the things in our shed. There is just so much stuff. We must be pack-rats or something, lol.

This has all turned out so nicely that it seems like it must be a dream. I am just so thankful to God for all that He has given to us. It is like Barbie said, it is like He just keeps giving us Christmas presents. What a good God He is! It is amazing to know that He doesn't have to be so good to me, and yet He is! God is so good!

I will be so thankful to be safely in Missouri. Our house here no longer feels safe after it was violated and intruded upon by people with ill-wishes towards us, knowing that they went through my personal things. I know it is possible that "Mom" and "Dad" could try to harass us there, but there is comfort in knowing that the law there protects families from what has happened here. And after having had a positive experience with social services, that can only help us if she tries to make another false report.

And I take comfort in knowing that the judge would not have allowed us to move if he had any question about us. So it is a comfort to know that this ordeal is almost over. Praise be to God!

I am looking at leggings to wear under skirts when we move. Funny to think about needing that but the other day they had a snow storm there. That seems so wild to me!

We were looking on a map last night and Missouri seems so far away! I can't believe we are moving to the Midwest. Rick pointed out that baby Joey won't even be a "Southerner". That is so strange to think about, lol. I thought we would always live in the South, but the Midwest seems like a nice place to raise a family.

We were going to get a hotel room for the first few nights there, but then we thought that it might be fun to "camp out" in our new house. We might even be able to paint the boys room before our stuff arrives. I think the boys will really like the new house. There is so much room to play, and we will all still be on one level, which is nice with little ones. And there will be so much more room for them to play in the kitchen while I cook. And the den is so much larger also. It will be nice to have the table in there for school and crafts.

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Christmas Eve

It is Christmas Eve! We went over to Tony and Shauneen's house for a few hours this afternoon. They have the boys a present, Jacob a train puzzle and Joshua one of those things where you press the buttons or turn the levers and little animals pop up. Tony also have Jacob a toy truck with a trailer. We also visited with Allie and she seems really happy. It made me sad to see her though, it is so hard to leave her. She is such a sweet dog, but I know she is happy. She seems to really like Tony. Tony and Shauneen said that they think of us like we are their kids. It feels nice to have some "family" after all.

I always feel a little sad around Christmas though. It is the only time that I tend to miss my family. I don't know if it is that I actually miss them or if it is the feeling of family and nice traditions that we had. I always enjoyed singing Christmas carols with my mother and brother, and our Christmas Eve feast, having a large family meal on Christmas day. I used to love the Christmas Eve candlelight service at our church. Our driving around on Christmas Eve after we ate to look at Christmas lights. Christmas just always felt special. And I know that we will develop many traditions in our family that will become special to us. We really enjoyed baking together yesterday. That may just become part of our traditions.

Shauneen said that Shannon told her that Princess is being really good. She has apparently grown quite attatched to Shannon, which Shauneen said is funny because she was never really a "dog person". But Princess is apparently quite happy. So I feel good knowing that our dogs are well cared for and in happy new homes. It seems they will be quite happy and loved. I think Princess is in the right home for what she needs. She is being pampered and spoiled by all of the girls, and is spending a lot of time in Shannon's lap.

I just realized that this is our last full week here. Wow, this is happening so quickly and there is still so much to do!

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Holiday Baking

We had a lovely afternoon together as a family, baking cookies and making chocolates. Jacob had so much fun. We pulled a chair up to the counter and let him help measure ingredients and play in the flour. He used the rolling pin and cookie cutters and helped shape dough into balls. We made a huge mess and had such a good time. We sang Christmas carols while we baked. And we ate entirely too much sugar. Jacob has been wired, lol. But he had so much fun. He loved eating the cookie dough, but don't we all ;)?

Jacob has been calling Shauneen "Miss Tony". He just loves Mr. Tony. It is so sweet. And Tony seems to think the world of Jacob. I am so thankful that he has people in his life that care so much for him.

So unfortunately our Christmas Eve plans were canceled because Barbie is ill. Their boys had the flu last weekend and now she is sick with it.

We baked some of my Cowboy cookies for Rick's boss. This is his last couple of weeks working for Mark, and Mark loves those cookies. I've baked goodies for the salesteam each year at Christmas and he always highly compliments those cookies. And I have cookies and chocolates to put in a basket of gifts for the Schumacher's as well. And we made a gift basket for Tony and Shauneen.

Jacob has been so sweet with Joshua lately. He is really enjoying being the big brother. Yesterday he was so cute showing Joshie a toy truck and how it worked. And earlier he knew that Joshua had wanted to sit with daddy, so he moved over so that he could sit there too. That boy is so sweet sometimes.

And again he amazed us with his intelligence today. Rick pulled up pictures of the new house in his email to show Jacob so that we could talk to him about it and help him understand that we are moving there. And he immediately started recalling specific details about the house, like talking about the purple bedroom and the carpet color and telling us about how our things will go in a big truck. So he has been listening and understanding what we are talking about.

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Another Amazing Blessing!

Things just keep getting better! Rick met with our attorney this morning, I just felt too much anxiety and did not want to go. I was just so worried that we would find out that we could not move. But, thanks be to God, that is not what happened. Apparently after we had informed the attorney about the case worker telling us they were closing the case, he called the guardian ad lidem who confirmed that the case was indeed closed. Our attorney then called the judge and told him about the case being closed and our need and desire to relocate to Kansas City. The judge called the case worker to ask her about us and she must have given him a great report because he called our attorney and told him to tell us to move. He said that he just wants us to be sure that if he schedules any hearings we can be here. Our attorney told us that this is now just a civil custody suit and that "Mom" really can't win. So after the move he will either file for a dismissal or for a change of jurisdiction (which is essentially a dismissal since she has no standing to file in Missouri). Either way, we have basically already won. The custody case is not formally closed yet, but it definitely sounds like it will be very soon.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

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Almost Christmas

Yesterday evening we decorated the Christmas tree. Jacob really enjoyed that. I had placed all of the ornaments into two large baskets so that he could choose which ornament to put on the tree next. He said that the tree has "spots" on it. How cute!

I thought that today was Wednesday, but it is actually Thursday. What a pleasant little surprise.

The case worker came by for her final visit. She was very friendly and it was a very relaxed visit. She said that she will be sending us a letter stating their findings that the case was non-indicated, meaning that they found no concerns. So the case is now closed. Wow. Thanks be to God!

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Yesterday evening we decorated the Christmas tree. Jacob really enjoyed that. I had placed all of the ornaments into two large baskets so that he could choose which ornament to put on the tree next. He said that the tree has "spots" on it. How cute!

I thought that today was Wednesday, but it is actually Thursday. What a pleasant little surprise.

The case worker came by for her final visit. She was very friendly and it was a very relaxed visit. She said that she will be sending us a letter stating their findings that the case was non-indicated, meaning that they found no concerns. So the case is now closed. Wow. Thanks be to God!

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An Amazing Blessing!

Praise be the Lord Jesus Christ! The case worker just called and they are officially closing the case! She is coming out tomorrow to see the boys on last time and then the case is closed.

We still have the custody case but having this case closed only helps us. We have so much on our side with social services and the guardian ad lidem both on our side. So her only victory is that she has made our lives more stressful for several months. And in doing so she lost her relationship with her son and grandchildren. And after all is said and done we know that we are safer now than before this situation. It is incredible the way that God has worked things out. This time has been painful and emotionally draining but we are coming out of this so much better.

I feel like standing on the rooftop and shouting His praises! What an amazing situation this has become. We have been able to truly see God working and see concrete indisputable evidence of it. There is not other explanation for the way this has all come together. We found the right house at the right time in the right place for us. We had the offer to relocate at the right time and they offered us just the right amount of money to cover all of our needs. They are closing the case at just the right time for us to move. And it has all happened on God's timetable, not ours. But it has all worked out for what is best for our family. It is all so incredible. Glory be to God!

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We Have a House!

We had a nice trip to Kansas City. We have a house, so that is a huge burden lifted off of us. The house seems so big, it is going to be nice to have so much space.

Also, Tony and Shauneen have decided to keep Allie and Shannon is almost certain that they want Princess.

I gave the boys their first home hair cuts today. Jacob is always so afraid of getting his hair cut, but he was completely comfortable with me doing it. He even volunteered to go first. And Joshua loved it, I think he thought that it tickled.

So now the work really picks up in getting prepared to move. I am thankful that I do not have to pack. It is overwhelming enough without that!

We bought most of the boys Christmas presents yesterday. I think they will like them. We chose mostly educational things, and one of their gifts is a large dry erase board for the new school room.

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Going on Another Trip to KC

The man from the relocation company came this morning to do the estimate. It is exciting to see things happening towards us moving. He said that it will take a 53 foot truck to move us.

Shauneen called and said that they do want Allie, and that her daughter may want Princess.

We decided to apply for that house and we are making plans to drive up there this weekend to look at it.

Joshua is advancing so quickly. He is great at crawling now, he is pulling up, he can get himself into a sitting position, he is just always on the go. He is getting into everything these days, pulling everything off of shelves, getting into everything that he can reach. Constantly getting himself stuck under tables or bumping into things. He is so much fun though and he finds humor in everything. He is always smiling or laughing. My sweet boy!

I am getting us packed now for our trip. Tony is coming by in the morning to pick up Allie. Jacob is getting excited as he always does when I pull out the suitcases. He likes traveling and getting to stay in hotels. Perhaps because he has grown accustomed to staying in nice hotels, lol.

It is exciting to think that we might be moving soon, into a nice larger house in a state with excellent laws regarding homeschooling and family rights. God provides!

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Going on Another Trip to KC

The man from the relocation company came this morning to do the estimate. It is exciting to see things happening towards us moving. He said that it will take a 53 foot truck to move us.

Shauneen called and said that they do want Allie, and that her daughter may want Princess.

We decided to apply for that house and we are making plans to drive up there this weekend to look at it.

Joshua is advancing so quickly. He is great at crawling now, he is pulling up, he can get himself into a sitting position, he is just always on the go. He is getting into everything these days, pulling everything off of shelves, getting into everything that he can reach. Constantly getting himself stuck under tables or bumping into things. He is so much fun though and he finds humor in everything. He is always smiling or laughing. My sweet boy!

I am getting us packed now for our trip. Tony is coming by in the morning to pick up Allie. Jacob is getting excited as he always does when I pull out the suitcases. He likes traveling and getting to stay in hotels. Perhaps because he has grown accustomed to staying in nice hotels, lol.

It is exciting to think that we might be moving soon, into a nice larger house in a state with excellent laws regarding homeschooling and family rights. God provides!

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We May Have Found a House...

We have found a house that we are pretty interested in in Kansas City. Actually it is outside the city on three acres. We have been emailing back and forth to get additional information and pictures.

I talked to Shauneen this afternoon and she said that they might be interested in taking Allie. We are going to have to find homes for both of our dogs before we move. At least we know she would be in a good home. I will be so sad to leave Allie, she is such a good dog and I love her dearly.

We are going to go out for Mexican this evening. We thought that would be a nice treat.

We are considering driving to Kansas City this weekend to look at this house.

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Christmas Decorating and Such

Saturday we drove to Birmingham to look for candles for our advent wreath because we could not find any here in town. We found beautiful candles at a craft store there, and all some pretty candle holders, and they were all half price. So that is nice. We also bought a wooden advent calendar and new stocking and a few other decoratives.

On Sunday there was a Christmas BBQ after church. Afterwards we came home and set up Christmas decorations.

We bought a new nativity set for the breakfast room table that has a Scripture verse on each piece. Jacob is enjoying looking at each piece and talking about the nativity story at breakfast and lunch.

We had a nice time at lunch on Sunday. I had a nice conversation with Barbie and a few other ladies about baking bread, buying fabric, knitting, sewing and other "girlish" topics. Barbie said that she would show me how to cut the boys hair. So I am looking forward to learning that. I have been wanting to learn, and it really makes sense for me to do it rather than to take them somewhere. Especially with how quickly Jacob's hair grows. He really needs a haircut every other week, but we always put it off because he is afraid of getting it cut and it is always so unpleasant.

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St. Nicholas Day Party

Yesterday was the St. Nicholas Day party. We had a lovely time! The boys were adorable dressed as little lambs. Jacob was a little wild on stage and made everyone laugh. Joshua was adorably sweet and friendly. He spent most of the evening with Angelica and Joseph. They fed him a banana, which he loved.

This evening I am going to try a new recipe for a cheesy corn chowder. Soup sounds good, with some homemade bread. Soup and bread always sounds good on a cold day.

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Good Days and Bad Days

Yesterday was not a good day. No one was feeling very well, I think that everyone was over-tired. I did not get anything accomplished, which is never a good thing.

But today I finished everything on my to-do list and most of yesterday's as well.

Jacob has been particularly sweet today. He has followed me around, copying my actions, and helping me clean. Then he found this little book of prayers and he has been "reading" his prayer book. He is just adorable today.

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Homemaking and Playing and Things are Looking Up

Things have been better this last week. Nothing has changed in regards to our court case, except that we have a hearing scheduled for January tenth. So, that is quite a ways off, but everyone is in agreement that the boys having been with us through this whole ordeal can only help our case. Obviously they have been solely in our care and continued to thrive.

The case aide workers came by this morning for just a minute. They were stopping by to say they "laid eyes on us" and that everything was great, as she knew it would be.

Last weekend we drove to Kansas City to look around and look into different areas. I could not believe that it snowed on Saturday morning! We found several nice areas, one in particular that Rick really liked was Lees Summit. It was actually quite nice. It would be such a change to move into the suburbs. I think one of the biggest adjustments would be the noise. We are so accustomed to the quietness of the country. We generally only hear the sounds of tractors, cows, dogs barking, to occasional turkey gobble or gunshot. I know I shall miss all of the beautiful birds that I see. I see the most striking cardinals and blue birds and they come right up to the windows, particularly in the fig tree outside of the breakfast room.

Joshua bonked his little head trying to pull himself up in his crib. He is such an adventurous little boy! He wants to do everything. It is so cute how he watches Jacob, taking it all in, and how he tries to imitate him. Joshua is so determined. I think he is definitely the high-achieving type.

I tested Jacob on his shape recognition this morning, and he properly named a circle, star, hexagon, square, rectangle, oval, diamond, and triangle. What a smart boy! God has blessed us with such intelligent children!

Yesterday the boys and I went grocery shopping. It is quite an adventure to go shopping with two active little boys. And to think, soon there will be three! I did somewhat enjoy marketing though.

When we returned home, I spent the afternoon detail cleaning the refrigerator. It had gotten quite messy and disorganized, and it was really needing to be put back in order. I took everything out and removed the drawers and shelves and scrubbed everything clean. I cleaned under the lids of all of the condiments and put everything back in neatly and organized. I washed and diced grapes so they will be already prepared for Jacob, and bagged individual servings for Rick to take with his lunch. Everything looks so gleaming and nice.

On Tuesday morning I organized our linen closet. I removed everything and wiped down the shelves. I refolded all of the towels and washcloths neatly and organized the medicine bin. Rick was pleased with how it looks.

The goal is to clean the entire house in that detail. It is quite a task but the result is worth the effort. Not to mention, it gives me something productive to focus on other than this court case. And as an additional bonus, Jacob enjoys "helping" me clean, and he likes organizing. It must be genetic, lol. And I think most people prefer a near and orderly home.

I am making egg salad for lunch and I am thinking I will make a broccoli and cheese soup with homemade bread for dinner.

I found a great website the other day while I was looking for ideas for an advent wreath. It is run by a lady with two sons, and she seems to be around my age. I always enjoy finding websites full of great information on homemaking. I think that homemaking is one of my favorite subjects to read about. I have always enjoyed learning and particularly when it is something that I can use in my daily life. And I have always been a bit of a perfectionist and a high achiever, so it is not surprising that I would want to learn as much as I can about what I do.

The boys were so cute earlier playing blocks together. They sat so nicely beside each other and Jacob would hand Joshie blocks. And Joshie would just look at Jacob with such fascination, studying him and then trying to imitate what he saw. They really play nicely together. Every now and then one will get jealous, but for the most part they play well together. I think Jacob is enjoying having a playmate.

Our house is filling up with the scent of freshly rising bread. That has to be one of the most lovely scents on earth. Nothing smells more like home to me than fresh bread. Pure lovliness. It warms my heart to know that my children associate those things with me. When Jacob saw a picture of Martha in his children's Bible baking bread, he said it was mommy. And he gets so excited each time I pull out the mixer because he knows that something good is coming. On Tuesday we made chocolate chip muffins and we made extra so that Rick could take them to work to share. He said that one of the guys came by asking if there were anymore, and he had already had two. So I'll take that as a compliment. It is a nice feeling to make other people's day a little sweeter with something as simple as a muffin.

Shauneen talked to the case worker who told her that the only reason she is having someone come by once a week is because it will help out our court case. That is incredible. It is amazing to me that they were able to come into our home and see who we are and see our family for what it is. It is nice to know that the way we are shows to people who don't even know us. I am sure it has also helped that we have supportive friends who know our children and who are saying the same things about us. It is just amazing to have that support.

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Discouraged

It has been a miserable few days. On Monday we had an appointment with our attorney. He told us that we probably won't even be able to get a court date until January, at the earliest. And even once we win, "Mom" can turn around and file again. So she can essentially keep us tied up in the court system and there is nothing that we can do to protect ourselves (as long as we live in Alabama). It is just so discouraging.

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Grumpy

I am in a bit of a grumpy mood this morning. I did not get enough sleep last night. Rick was snoring, the dogs were barking. So I am exhausted.

It looks like we are traveling to Kansas City next weekend to look at houses.

We ordered lamb costumes for the boys for the party. They are going to be too cute. It is sweet. John-Paul didn't want to be the shepherd until he heard that he would get to hold the baby lambs. I think that is so sweet. How many twelve year old boys are excited to get to hold the baby? He just has such a love for children. Really all of these children do, they are just raised with the thought that children are a blessing.

Jacob is suddenly very interested in baby Joey. He wants to talk to him, and brings toys to my belly to "show" him.

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Growing Up Fast!

My poor little Jacob is so congested! He really doesn't seem to be feeling bad, his energy level is pretty active, especially considering he is on cold medicine. I am hoping that we will somehow avoid Joshua getting sick, although I don't know what the likelihood of that is.

I ended up accomplishing more yesterday than I thought I would. I dusted our bedroom, including the tops of door frames and windows and I dusted the living room and dining room as well.

I ordered a nice cape/cloak yesterday. I had been looking for some kind of lighter coat that would look nice with dresses and skirts, and that can be quite difficult to find! I have a lovely winter coat, but I needed something that I could wear in the in-between weather. I think this will work nicely.

I also ordered new sheets for our bed. A few weeks ago, Allie ripped our favorite sheets and Rick has really been missing them. I find that cute because before me he had no idea what high thread count sheets were or how lovely a down comforter can be, and now he can hardly sleep without them! Even when we have stayed in high end hotels he has complained about the sheets. So I found a set just like the ones that we had and ordered them.

It seems strange that Thanksgiving is next week. With all that has been going on lately, I suppose that time is just passing by quickly. I certainly would have preferred that this situation was resolved before the holiday season began, but I suppose that is just not to be.

Joshua has been in a happy mood today. He has been saying "mama" a lot today, and he wants lots of cuddles. It is so sweet when babies show affection. There is something so rewarding about a slobbery baby hug.

I think that baby Joseph might be as active as Joshua!

I was looking at ideas for the boys new room when we move and I found some really cute ideas. I love some of the ideas from Pottery Barn, but I like recreating them myself. It is so much fun to recreate ideas for less. I have always enjoyed that sort of thing. I have enjoyed gathering decorating ideas for our next home. It is something to preoccupy my mind I suppose. I am looking forward to creating a "big boy room" for Jacob. I can't believe how quickly the boys are growing. Jacob is able to have real conversations and it is just amazing. And Joshua is getting so big and changing every day. Today he has been so "talkative" and he is trying to pull himself up on everything. He keeps getting up on his hands and knees- ready to crawl. He is such an energetic little guy!

It just amazes me how quickly all this happens. One day they are tiny helpless newborns, and then they are rolling all over the floor, exploring everything, and then you blink and they are walking and talking and doing everything that big people do. Jacob jumps, sings, creates and imagines, and has his own ideas about things. It is so neat to see him develop his own opinions about things and to see little pieces of us in him. He has Rick's outgoing nature and charisma, and my desire for neatness and order and routine, and high expectations of himself.

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Stress, and Parties, and Laundry, Oh My!

Yesterday was a particularly stressful day for me. There was nothing specific to make it so. I think it was just the weight of feeling like we have no power over our situation. Most people would probably be surprised to know that I am a bit of a control freak. Not in the manner that many people are, it seems contradictory since I am soft spoken and at times a bit timid. But I always want to feel as if my life is neat and ordered. My day to day life follows a predictable routine and there is a familiar sense of consistency. When things aren't as they should be, I just find it so frustrating. I want everyone to do what they are supposed to do, in a timely manner, but life doesn't work that way.

Barbie called this morning to invite us to a St. Nicholas Day party. The boys are going to dress up as lambs to be part of a Nativity scene. John-Paul is dressing up as the shepherd, Angelica will be Mary, the little boys will be the wise men. Alexandria is going to be playing the harp. It sounds like it will be a lovely time. There will also be a pot-luck supper. She also invited us to her house on Christmas Eve.

Jacob woke up this morning with a bit of a cold. His little nose is all congested. His voice sounds too cute. He doesn't seem to be feeling bad, just congested.

I have been trying to finish up a few little tasks around the house this afternoon. I cleaned our bathroom and the breakfast room. And I switched out the breakfast room table cloth for cream colored place mats and arranged a centerpiece on the table of small pumpkins , gourds, and indian corn.

I had a frustrating situation with the laundry yesterday. I discovered that some of the items had turned pink! What I don't understand, however, is that there was nothing red or dark pink in the load. So I cannot figure out what happened. The woes of a homemaker!

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Wonderful Blessings and a Difficult Situation

There is something so soothing about the feeling of warm hot chocolate in my tummy. I thoroughly enjoy such simple pleasures. It seems at times such small niceties add to the quality of life.

My Joshua is such an active little monkey! This morning he somehow got himself on the other side of his bumper pads and had his arm and leg sticking out of the crib! That boy is on the go from the moment he wakes up. What a little bundle of energy! It is so precious to watch him explore.

The case aide worker came by again this morning. Again they commented on how clean our house is and how well organized and how smart Jacob is.

Jacob enjoyed playing with playdough this morning. He loves to stamp images into it and "cut it" with "scissors", and roll it around with the rolling pin. He just loves to create. Painting is one of his new favorite activities. I am truly amazed at what he creates. He has an incredibly imagination. He is just so bright!

I cannot believe that it is almost Thanksgiving. It will be our first Thanksgiving alone since the children were born. I think it will be nice. We will be able to have our own little traditions without being looked at as too "sappy" and too "religious" and "self-righteous".

Last Christmas was such a struggle because everyone became so offended when on Christmas Eve we asked that the television be turned off. We were trying to be gracious since they were guests in our home, but we were really trying to keep the focus on the joy of Christ's birth and they wanted to watch crime documentaries. And they acted as if we were being so pious. So at least there won't be any of that. It is hard not to feel some degree of loss, however, that we will have no extended family to share our joy with. But I suppose we never really did. But God has blessed us with the support of loving friends and our strong marriage and precious children. Perhaps now we also have the blessing of not having to face ridicule from those who are supposed to be a loving support.

We found out Thursday that our family is being blessed with another son! I am so surprised! It is especially sweet because I had prayed that God would give me four boys and He has given me three in a row! I used to think that I wouldn't know what to do with boys, and then Jacob came along and changed everything. I have enjoyed being his mother more than I could ever express in words. I feel so much fulfillment when I see how he looks at me with such love and how he looks at me like I am so beautiful to him. It has filled my heart with such joy to watch him grow and develop. And it is so fulfilling to know that I have been his primary teacher and nurturer and then to see him developing into a bright, intelligent boy with such a caring and loving character that makes him irresistible to all he meets.

And oh my Joshua! What a strong, sweet spirit he has! And to know that he feels so content and secure in my arms gives me such a feeling of success. I know that I haven't had some amazing career, and I will never be famous and I will never be rich. But, in knowing that my children feel well loved and are growing into amazing, happy, and loving little men, I know I am successful. And there is no greater reward on this earth!

And all of this brings so much joy to our family that even with all the stress and pain of this situation I can say that God has blessed us abundantly! I know that He must love me a great deal to have blessed me so richly.

We found out last week that "Mom" has gone to our friends and tried to convince them that we are horrible parents and that I am crazy and such, and then she emailed us and tried to say that these friends were approaching her and were on her side. I feel as if she is actually losing her mind. Perhaps it is evident to others as well. I know in the beginning that we had told the case worker that we believed "Mom" wanted custody of our children, and she seemed surprised. But then a week later, "Mom" filed for custody. I feel as if her actions are showing what her true motives are. So many of her accusations have been provable (on our side) that it is really shocking. I am understanding why she would make accusations that we could easily prove false, such as Joshua not having been to the doctor or had any shots.

Wow, just when you think that things can't get any weirder. Rick just received an email from her sending her condolences on the death of a co-workers father. So then he finds out that she had called his receptionist several times asking questions (such as if he was in the office, or what address to send something to a friend of his). And she asked the receptionist not to tell him that she had called. Then, getting even creepier, she called here(!) saying that she had sent an email to me and I should read it, and I calmly asked her not to call our house and she said "OK, Love ya, bye" In a strange, sarcastic, teenage sounding voice. Apparently she called his office three times, and then after she called here she called there again asking to speak to one of Rick's friends. She also told the receptionist that she was sending something to this friend. I cannot believe the lengths this woman will go to to hurt us.

I would like to feel like I could pray for her, I am really trying to not have feelings of hatred or resentment towards her, and to feel forgiveness and compassion, but right now it feels like she is purposefully attacking my family and that makes me angry.

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Trials and Blessings

Our family has undergone many difficult trials recently, and yet I still look around me and see the many blessings that our Gracious Heavenly Father has bestowed upon us. One only has to look into the precious faces of our children to see His most holy goodness. I know that my life has been so richly blessed and that it is only by His Grace that I am able to receive so much. To some my life may not seem like much, and many times I am unable to see all that I have been given, but I do know that I am deeply loved by my Heavenly Father and He has surrounded me with support and love and friendship during this most difficult time. I realize that the earthly love and comfort I feel are nothing in comparison to the love that Our Lord has for me. But I truly appreciate that He has given me the earthly friends for additional comfort.

Tony and Shauneen have been truly amazing throughout this time. They have been such genuine friends and have truly shown the values of loyalty, charity, and compassion. True friends are so few and far between and I am so thankful for the precious gift of the their friendship. God has blessed us abundantly!

Joshua has grown by leaps and bounds. He is just blossoming! His little cheeks have become so plump he has gotten so active. He wants to see everything, and do everything himself. He wants to be on the go constantly. From the moment his eyes open in the morning, he is a bundle of energy. I don't know if I have ever seen a smile as contagious as his. His whole face lights up with radiant joy.

And Jacob is a constant source of wonder and amazement to me. That child is so incredibly bright! I cannot believe how much he learns everyday. He seems to be eager to learn and so enthusiastic about everything that he is learning. His mind is like a little sponge just waiting to soak up new information. It is so precious to see the sparkle in his eye when he understands a new concept or recalls something he has learned. And what a joy to know that he is learning from me and that I am able to share in that experience with him. It gives me so much joy to know that I am teaching him and he is learning and that we are both enjoying the process.

It is easy for us to become burdened by the weight of our difficulties. It causes us a great deal of pain to know that our struggles are being caused by someone who claimed to love us and who we allowed into our lives, and into the lives of our children.

It is, however, a comfort to us to know that in spite of the hurt she has caused us previously, we had forgiven her and shown her love and kindness. I can feel peace in my heart because I know that I showed her the compassion and love that that my Lord requires of me. I also understand that this situation is not about us, or even about our earthly situation. She is fighting a much larger spiritual battle. I know that we are caught in the middle of her spiritual warfare. It is difficult from a human perspective not to get angry and take this very personally. After all, she is putting my children and family in jeopardy. But I must try to rise above that earthly desire and not to let anger fill my heart.

I must trust in God's great providence, and that He will give me the strength to overcome this trial and to be an unwavering source of nurturing, love, and protection for these children. In the end it does not matter what other people think of me, but that I have done the right things despite persecution or difficulty. Who you are in your heart shows during difficult situations. It is a much simpler decision to trust in God when there isn't much on the line. I know that now is the time to stand strong and hold tight to my faith. I must trust that He will deliver our family safely through this.

In Christ,

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The Kansas City Zoo

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Shopping and Dining in KC

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A Trip to Kansas City

What a time we have had! We are in Kansas City for a few days. Rick had to attend a conference for work and with all that has been going on, we thought it best for the whole family to go. We drove up yesterday and actually had a good trip. The boys behaved amazingly well on the car ride. Neither of them were fussy or awnry. They were both in great moods and were so sweet. We stopped at Bob Evans for dinner and the server thought that Jacob's accent was adorable. It is funny because I don't usually notice him having an accent, but hearing him speak to people in Illinois, he sounded very southern. We made great time and everyone was happy so we decided to drive the whole way. We had planned to stop an hour or two out, but we figured it would be nice to not be in a hurry the next morning. We made it into Kansas City before midnight, and went looking for a hotel (we hadn't made reservations for that first night since we hadn't planned on driving the whole way). Everywhere was completely booked. Apparently everyone in Kansas City goes to a hotel when there is a football game in town? So there were no rooms in town. We were told to head back the way we came, so we stopped and checked at every hotel, and there were no rooms. To make a long story short, we ended up driving one hundred and fifty miles before finally finding a hotel that was far enough off of the interstate to still have a room. When we arrived there we found that even they had no rooms and we were so disheartened. At this point it was three o'clock in the morning and we realized that we might have to drive all the way back to St. Louis to find a hotel. So I had climbed in the back of the Suburban to change diapers and change the boys into pajamas, when suddenly the hotel clerk ran outside to tell us that since it was after three they could release a room that had been reserved and the people had no-showed. We were so thankful to have a room!

While we are here I am going to take the boys to the zoo and to the Crown Center Shopping Plaza. The zoo here is supposed to be very nice.

In Christ,

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