Homemaking and Playing and Things are Looking Up

Things have been better this last week. Nothing has changed in regards to our court case, except that we have a hearing scheduled for January tenth. So, that is quite a ways off, but everyone is in agreement that the boys having been with us through this whole ordeal can only help our case. Obviously they have been solely in our care and continued to thrive.

The case aide workers came by this morning for just a minute. They were stopping by to say they "laid eyes on us" and that everything was great, as she knew it would be.

Last weekend we drove to Kansas City to look around and look into different areas. I could not believe that it snowed on Saturday morning! We found several nice areas, one in particular that Rick really liked was Lees Summit. It was actually quite nice. It would be such a change to move into the suburbs. I think one of the biggest adjustments would be the noise. We are so accustomed to the quietness of the country. We generally only hear the sounds of tractors, cows, dogs barking, to occasional turkey gobble or gunshot. I know I shall miss all of the beautiful birds that I see. I see the most striking cardinals and blue birds and they come right up to the windows, particularly in the fig tree outside of the breakfast room.

Joshua bonked his little head trying to pull himself up in his crib. He is such an adventurous little boy! He wants to do everything. It is so cute how he watches Jacob, taking it all in, and how he tries to imitate him. Joshua is so determined. I think he is definitely the high-achieving type.

I tested Jacob on his shape recognition this morning, and he properly named a circle, star, hexagon, square, rectangle, oval, diamond, and triangle. What a smart boy! God has blessed us with such intelligent children!

Yesterday the boys and I went grocery shopping. It is quite an adventure to go shopping with two active little boys. And to think, soon there will be three! I did somewhat enjoy marketing though.

When we returned home, I spent the afternoon detail cleaning the refrigerator. It had gotten quite messy and disorganized, and it was really needing to be put back in order. I took everything out and removed the drawers and shelves and scrubbed everything clean. I cleaned under the lids of all of the condiments and put everything back in neatly and organized. I washed and diced grapes so they will be already prepared for Jacob, and bagged individual servings for Rick to take with his lunch. Everything looks so gleaming and nice.

On Tuesday morning I organized our linen closet. I removed everything and wiped down the shelves. I refolded all of the towels and washcloths neatly and organized the medicine bin. Rick was pleased with how it looks.

The goal is to clean the entire house in that detail. It is quite a task but the result is worth the effort. Not to mention, it gives me something productive to focus on other than this court case. And as an additional bonus, Jacob enjoys "helping" me clean, and he likes organizing. It must be genetic, lol. And I think most people prefer a near and orderly home.

I am making egg salad for lunch and I am thinking I will make a broccoli and cheese soup with homemade bread for dinner.

I found a great website the other day while I was looking for ideas for an advent wreath. It is run by a lady with two sons, and she seems to be around my age. I always enjoy finding websites full of great information on homemaking. I think that homemaking is one of my favorite subjects to read about. I have always enjoyed learning and particularly when it is something that I can use in my daily life. And I have always been a bit of a perfectionist and a high achiever, so it is not surprising that I would want to learn as much as I can about what I do.

The boys were so cute earlier playing blocks together. They sat so nicely beside each other and Jacob would hand Joshie blocks. And Joshie would just look at Jacob with such fascination, studying him and then trying to imitate what he saw. They really play nicely together. Every now and then one will get jealous, but for the most part they play well together. I think Jacob is enjoying having a playmate.

Our house is filling up with the scent of freshly rising bread. That has to be one of the most lovely scents on earth. Nothing smells more like home to me than fresh bread. Pure lovliness. It warms my heart to know that my children associate those things with me. When Jacob saw a picture of Martha in his children's Bible baking bread, he said it was mommy. And he gets so excited each time I pull out the mixer because he knows that something good is coming. On Tuesday we made chocolate chip muffins and we made extra so that Rick could take them to work to share. He said that one of the guys came by asking if there were anymore, and he had already had two. So I'll take that as a compliment. It is a nice feeling to make other people's day a little sweeter with something as simple as a muffin.

Shauneen talked to the case worker who told her that the only reason she is having someone come by once a week is because it will help out our court case. That is incredible. It is amazing to me that they were able to come into our home and see who we are and see our family for what it is. It is nice to know that the way we are shows to people who don't even know us. I am sure it has also helped that we have supportive friends who know our children and who are saying the same things about us. It is just amazing to have that support.

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Discouraged

It has been a miserable few days. On Monday we had an appointment with our attorney. He told us that we probably won't even be able to get a court date until January, at the earliest. And even once we win, "Mom" can turn around and file again. So she can essentially keep us tied up in the court system and there is nothing that we can do to protect ourselves (as long as we live in Alabama). It is just so discouraging.

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Grumpy

I am in a bit of a grumpy mood this morning. I did not get enough sleep last night. Rick was snoring, the dogs were barking. So I am exhausted.

It looks like we are traveling to Kansas City next weekend to look at houses.

We ordered lamb costumes for the boys for the party. They are going to be too cute. It is sweet. John-Paul didn't want to be the shepherd until he heard that he would get to hold the baby lambs. I think that is so sweet. How many twelve year old boys are excited to get to hold the baby? He just has such a love for children. Really all of these children do, they are just raised with the thought that children are a blessing.

Jacob is suddenly very interested in baby Joey. He wants to talk to him, and brings toys to my belly to "show" him.

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Growing Up Fast!

My poor little Jacob is so congested! He really doesn't seem to be feeling bad, his energy level is pretty active, especially considering he is on cold medicine. I am hoping that we will somehow avoid Joshua getting sick, although I don't know what the likelihood of that is.

I ended up accomplishing more yesterday than I thought I would. I dusted our bedroom, including the tops of door frames and windows and I dusted the living room and dining room as well.

I ordered a nice cape/cloak yesterday. I had been looking for some kind of lighter coat that would look nice with dresses and skirts, and that can be quite difficult to find! I have a lovely winter coat, but I needed something that I could wear in the in-between weather. I think this will work nicely.

I also ordered new sheets for our bed. A few weeks ago, Allie ripped our favorite sheets and Rick has really been missing them. I find that cute because before me he had no idea what high thread count sheets were or how lovely a down comforter can be, and now he can hardly sleep without them! Even when we have stayed in high end hotels he has complained about the sheets. So I found a set just like the ones that we had and ordered them.

It seems strange that Thanksgiving is next week. With all that has been going on lately, I suppose that time is just passing by quickly. I certainly would have preferred that this situation was resolved before the holiday season began, but I suppose that is just not to be.

Joshua has been in a happy mood today. He has been saying "mama" a lot today, and he wants lots of cuddles. It is so sweet when babies show affection. There is something so rewarding about a slobbery baby hug.

I think that baby Joseph might be as active as Joshua!

I was looking at ideas for the boys new room when we move and I found some really cute ideas. I love some of the ideas from Pottery Barn, but I like recreating them myself. It is so much fun to recreate ideas for less. I have always enjoyed that sort of thing. I have enjoyed gathering decorating ideas for our next home. It is something to preoccupy my mind I suppose. I am looking forward to creating a "big boy room" for Jacob. I can't believe how quickly the boys are growing. Jacob is able to have real conversations and it is just amazing. And Joshua is getting so big and changing every day. Today he has been so "talkative" and he is trying to pull himself up on everything. He keeps getting up on his hands and knees- ready to crawl. He is such an energetic little guy!

It just amazes me how quickly all this happens. One day they are tiny helpless newborns, and then they are rolling all over the floor, exploring everything, and then you blink and they are walking and talking and doing everything that big people do. Jacob jumps, sings, creates and imagines, and has his own ideas about things. It is so neat to see him develop his own opinions about things and to see little pieces of us in him. He has Rick's outgoing nature and charisma, and my desire for neatness and order and routine, and high expectations of himself.

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Stress, and Parties, and Laundry, Oh My!

Yesterday was a particularly stressful day for me. There was nothing specific to make it so. I think it was just the weight of feeling like we have no power over our situation. Most people would probably be surprised to know that I am a bit of a control freak. Not in the manner that many people are, it seems contradictory since I am soft spoken and at times a bit timid. But I always want to feel as if my life is neat and ordered. My day to day life follows a predictable routine and there is a familiar sense of consistency. When things aren't as they should be, I just find it so frustrating. I want everyone to do what they are supposed to do, in a timely manner, but life doesn't work that way.

Barbie called this morning to invite us to a St. Nicholas Day party. The boys are going to dress up as lambs to be part of a Nativity scene. John-Paul is dressing up as the shepherd, Angelica will be Mary, the little boys will be the wise men. Alexandria is going to be playing the harp. It sounds like it will be a lovely time. There will also be a pot-luck supper. She also invited us to her house on Christmas Eve.

Jacob woke up this morning with a bit of a cold. His little nose is all congested. His voice sounds too cute. He doesn't seem to be feeling bad, just congested.

I have been trying to finish up a few little tasks around the house this afternoon. I cleaned our bathroom and the breakfast room. And I switched out the breakfast room table cloth for cream colored place mats and arranged a centerpiece on the table of small pumpkins , gourds, and indian corn.

I had a frustrating situation with the laundry yesterday. I discovered that some of the items had turned pink! What I don't understand, however, is that there was nothing red or dark pink in the load. So I cannot figure out what happened. The woes of a homemaker!

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Wonderful Blessings and a Difficult Situation

There is something so soothing about the feeling of warm hot chocolate in my tummy. I thoroughly enjoy such simple pleasures. It seems at times such small niceties add to the quality of life.

My Joshua is such an active little monkey! This morning he somehow got himself on the other side of his bumper pads and had his arm and leg sticking out of the crib! That boy is on the go from the moment he wakes up. What a little bundle of energy! It is so precious to watch him explore.

The case aide worker came by again this morning. Again they commented on how clean our house is and how well organized and how smart Jacob is.

Jacob enjoyed playing with playdough this morning. He loves to stamp images into it and "cut it" with "scissors", and roll it around with the rolling pin. He just loves to create. Painting is one of his new favorite activities. I am truly amazed at what he creates. He has an incredibly imagination. He is just so bright!

I cannot believe that it is almost Thanksgiving. It will be our first Thanksgiving alone since the children were born. I think it will be nice. We will be able to have our own little traditions without being looked at as too "sappy" and too "religious" and "self-righteous".

Last Christmas was such a struggle because everyone became so offended when on Christmas Eve we asked that the television be turned off. We were trying to be gracious since they were guests in our home, but we were really trying to keep the focus on the joy of Christ's birth and they wanted to watch crime documentaries. And they acted as if we were being so pious. So at least there won't be any of that. It is hard not to feel some degree of loss, however, that we will have no extended family to share our joy with. But I suppose we never really did. But God has blessed us with the support of loving friends and our strong marriage and precious children. Perhaps now we also have the blessing of not having to face ridicule from those who are supposed to be a loving support.

We found out Thursday that our family is being blessed with another son! I am so surprised! It is especially sweet because I had prayed that God would give me four boys and He has given me three in a row! I used to think that I wouldn't know what to do with boys, and then Jacob came along and changed everything. I have enjoyed being his mother more than I could ever express in words. I feel so much fulfillment when I see how he looks at me with such love and how he looks at me like I am so beautiful to him. It has filled my heart with such joy to watch him grow and develop. And it is so fulfilling to know that I have been his primary teacher and nurturer and then to see him developing into a bright, intelligent boy with such a caring and loving character that makes him irresistible to all he meets.

And oh my Joshua! What a strong, sweet spirit he has! And to know that he feels so content and secure in my arms gives me such a feeling of success. I know that I haven't had some amazing career, and I will never be famous and I will never be rich. But, in knowing that my children feel well loved and are growing into amazing, happy, and loving little men, I know I am successful. And there is no greater reward on this earth!

And all of this brings so much joy to our family that even with all the stress and pain of this situation I can say that God has blessed us abundantly! I know that He must love me a great deal to have blessed me so richly.

We found out last week that "Mom" has gone to our friends and tried to convince them that we are horrible parents and that I am crazy and such, and then she emailed us and tried to say that these friends were approaching her and were on her side. I feel as if she is actually losing her mind. Perhaps it is evident to others as well. I know in the beginning that we had told the case worker that we believed "Mom" wanted custody of our children, and she seemed surprised. But then a week later, "Mom" filed for custody. I feel as if her actions are showing what her true motives are. So many of her accusations have been provable (on our side) that it is really shocking. I am understanding why she would make accusations that we could easily prove false, such as Joshua not having been to the doctor or had any shots.

Wow, just when you think that things can't get any weirder. Rick just received an email from her sending her condolences on the death of a co-workers father. So then he finds out that she had called his receptionist several times asking questions (such as if he was in the office, or what address to send something to a friend of his). And she asked the receptionist not to tell him that she had called. Then, getting even creepier, she called here(!) saying that she had sent an email to me and I should read it, and I calmly asked her not to call our house and she said "OK, Love ya, bye" In a strange, sarcastic, teenage sounding voice. Apparently she called his office three times, and then after she called here she called there again asking to speak to one of Rick's friends. She also told the receptionist that she was sending something to this friend. I cannot believe the lengths this woman will go to to hurt us.

I would like to feel like I could pray for her, I am really trying to not have feelings of hatred or resentment towards her, and to feel forgiveness and compassion, but right now it feels like she is purposefully attacking my family and that makes me angry.

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Trials and Blessings

Our family has undergone many difficult trials recently, and yet I still look around me and see the many blessings that our Gracious Heavenly Father has bestowed upon us. One only has to look into the precious faces of our children to see His most holy goodness. I know that my life has been so richly blessed and that it is only by His Grace that I am able to receive so much. To some my life may not seem like much, and many times I am unable to see all that I have been given, but I do know that I am deeply loved by my Heavenly Father and He has surrounded me with support and love and friendship during this most difficult time. I realize that the earthly love and comfort I feel are nothing in comparison to the love that Our Lord has for me. But I truly appreciate that He has given me the earthly friends for additional comfort.

Tony and Shauneen have been truly amazing throughout this time. They have been such genuine friends and have truly shown the values of loyalty, charity, and compassion. True friends are so few and far between and I am so thankful for the precious gift of the their friendship. God has blessed us abundantly!

Joshua has grown by leaps and bounds. He is just blossoming! His little cheeks have become so plump he has gotten so active. He wants to see everything, and do everything himself. He wants to be on the go constantly. From the moment his eyes open in the morning, he is a bundle of energy. I don't know if I have ever seen a smile as contagious as his. His whole face lights up with radiant joy.

And Jacob is a constant source of wonder and amazement to me. That child is so incredibly bright! I cannot believe how much he learns everyday. He seems to be eager to learn and so enthusiastic about everything that he is learning. His mind is like a little sponge just waiting to soak up new information. It is so precious to see the sparkle in his eye when he understands a new concept or recalls something he has learned. And what a joy to know that he is learning from me and that I am able to share in that experience with him. It gives me so much joy to know that I am teaching him and he is learning and that we are both enjoying the process.

It is easy for us to become burdened by the weight of our difficulties. It causes us a great deal of pain to know that our struggles are being caused by someone who claimed to love us and who we allowed into our lives, and into the lives of our children.

It is, however, a comfort to us to know that in spite of the hurt she has caused us previously, we had forgiven her and shown her love and kindness. I can feel peace in my heart because I know that I showed her the compassion and love that that my Lord requires of me. I also understand that this situation is not about us, or even about our earthly situation. She is fighting a much larger spiritual battle. I know that we are caught in the middle of her spiritual warfare. It is difficult from a human perspective not to get angry and take this very personally. After all, she is putting my children and family in jeopardy. But I must try to rise above that earthly desire and not to let anger fill my heart.

I must trust in God's great providence, and that He will give me the strength to overcome this trial and to be an unwavering source of nurturing, love, and protection for these children. In the end it does not matter what other people think of me, but that I have done the right things despite persecution or difficulty. Who you are in your heart shows during difficult situations. It is a much simpler decision to trust in God when there isn't much on the line. I know that now is the time to stand strong and hold tight to my faith. I must trust that He will deliver our family safely through this.

In Christ,

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