You Can Have Your Cake AND Eat It Too!

 I haven't written much lately aside from tidbits of our days. I suppose that I was taking a bit of a break, taking some time to sort through my own thoughts and feelings. Now, I feel ready to do some real writing. I have accepted the fact that sometimes people just aren't going to like what I have to say, and sometimes...they will.

I was talking to a friend the other day, and she told me that she read my blog before actually  meeting me in person. The thing that stood out to her was a sense of confidence. Confidence in the way I live my life, confidence in how we are raising our children, confidence in who I am.  I realize that she was right...I did have a sense of confidence. Unfortunately though, I also have a very sensitive nature about me. A few snide comments here, a few jabs at me there, and suddenly, that confidence started to wane.

For some reason I started listening to those people who were telling me that I couldn't be a conservative Christian homeschooling mom of four AND love funky shoes. I can't strive to teach my children strong values AND enjoy listening to my "booty" music. For some reason, there were people trying to make me feel guilty for spending time on things like dyeing my hair, going to a tanning bed, shopping, and playing with outfits. Why does being a mother mean that I shouldn't enjoy these things?


I have always been the type of girl who was willing to be "different". When I was growing up, I didn't care what clique people belonged to, I had friends all over the social map. Somehow though, as I grew older, my need to feel like I was following a set of unwritten rules took control. I started to really feel like I was doing something wrong for wanting to feel pretty, for enjoying the company of friends who are very different than me, for enjoying my life.

I think that a person can go too far...on either side. If you spend ALL of your time caring about how you look, then of course, there's no time left for taking care of others. But, if you spend NO time taking care of yourself, you will eventually run out of yourself to give. People have different ways of "recharging", and for me, I like to feel pretty.

I enjoy clothes and shoes and shopping and makeup and feeling pretty. I love looking through fashion magazines and putting together outfits on sites like Polyvore. I love talking about all of that. I enjoy working out and fixing my hair and I love hanging out with girlfriends. I love having a ridiculous amount of clothing and shoes and jewelry- and I am not going to feel guilty about that. My first priority is my family, and we don't go into debt with buying these things, and frankly, it makes me happy.

I may be a mommy-fashionista, but I still put the majority of my focus on raising my family. I homeschool my children using a conservative Christian curriculum, and I do it in four inch heels. I teach my children to memorize Scripture verses and I do it with a 5 carat diamond on my finger. My boys do their chores and learn to be helpful and kind to one another, and they do it with their hair gelled. I hug and kiss on my babies and I do it with my dyed blonde hair. I sing to my children and read them stories and play with them on the playground, and I do it while carrying a designer handbag.   That's me, and you don't have to like it if you don't want to.

I'm tired of being judged about this. I find it particularly frustrating because I don't judge others for feeling differently. Some of the dearest people I know are extremely conservative in the way that they dress and live their lives, and I love talking with them, reading their writings, and feel so encouraged by the shared values that we have. I have friends who don't homeschool, who don't share the same beliefs that I do, and yet I find myself so encouraged by them. I don't feel the need to judge them for being different than me. I LOVE that we have differences. My life would be so boring if I spent all of my time in a room full of "Mellys". (wow, that actually kinda sounds scary...)

Maybe it's from getting older, maybe it's just learning from life experience, but either way I have discovered that I can actually have my cake and eat it too. I can be a conservative Christian homeschooling mom of four, who dresses like a fashionista, has a social life, sells pink makeup, goes to the gym, takes care of her home, adores her husband, feels passionately about raising her family and loving every minute of this life.


 With Love,