Heavy Burdens

Dear sisters, I write today with a heavy heart. It has been hard for me to admit that I am struggling, I have never felt comfortable with exposing weakness. But yet here I am, feeling weaker than ever before, and coming to the understanding that I am in need of prayer from my dear sisters in Christ.

I have been struggling to carry some heavy burdens that honestly I know I cannot carry on my own. But I have had difficulty in letting go of it enough and just letting God take over. I do not know why I have fought so hard to carry it myself, it seems rather foolish when I think about it! But foolish or not, the stress has taken it's tole. Yesterday seems to have been the breaking point for me, and now I have come to the understanding that I am simply not strong enough on my own, and it is truly time to turn the situation over to Him.

Yesterday morning we had a court hearing stemming from the fatal car accident we had in August. We of course expected it to be difficult and stressful, but I do think we underestimated the situation. In the midst of all of the crisis though, it was amazing to see God work! We had felt so much fear, sitting there, unsure of what would happen, but God sent just the right people, at just the right times, and it looks now as if He is going to carry the situation through for us.

But the stress of everything has just been too much on my body...after a trip to the emergency room yesterday we discovered that we had lost the baby I was carrying. I do not think that the reality of it has really sunk in yet, I am feeling rather numb. But I know that things will settle down, and I will have to grieve for this loss. Right now I am just too tired.

Please keep me in your prayers, and my family as well. I feel there is still much to overcome in all of this, and I pray that God will grant us perseverance, and the fortitude we need to live out our convictions each day.

In His Abounding Grace,